Just a letter from my mind

Kairin

It all began with you
Since the first time I saw you
You woke up something within me
And then
I tried to be closer to you
But you, finally rejected me
And that's how my fear began to grow


Cecile

Three years have passed
Since I saw you and then I could say my first word to you
That morning was great
We spend two hours talking about many stuff
You make me believe in myself
But then
There was another that took your heart for a while
And I ended dissapointed that year
But you were the first ray of light

Gabrielle

You were the nice girl a like to  call every afternoon
After school
I remember the long calls we had
But you never accepted me a invite
And then
I understood that you were trying to be nice with me
Because really I had no chances at that moment

Serah

You were the one that everyone is after
And I was a exception since the day we talked
I remember that we started talking about music

In this moment, you are the reason of my musical taste
Then
I realize that you never have a special interest in me
And the year finished with you away from me

Xiam

You were the impossible one
But as a man
I dreamed about you
And you make my futile dreams grow
After that chocolate gift
But in the end
You were trying to be nice with me
But I remember you in a password

Ayl

You were another impossible dream
Since the night we danced, besides my steps
I dreamed about you and I started to count
The days I had to tell something about my feelings
But I was a coward at that moment
And in the last day of that job
I could only say: We have to go to some place, someday
Right now, you're a good friend

Dan

You were the first official one on my list
We were innocent and pure
I remember when we started talking
And how those letters make our tiny love grow
But when we were together
I feel like a man that i cannot complete you
Besides you said nicely that we were fine together
I feel something inside that was not right
And i have to hurt you leaving you
I guess your pain is following me all these years

Azcen

If i still believe in fate
I still believe we have some experience to share
You were the first real love in my career days
I never imagined it could be someone like you
Just a girl that I have to carry with me for many days
I didn't expect to have a depression for you
It took me years to understand that we coulnd't be together
I have courage to express my feelings to you
I have my chances to be nice with you
But, nothing worked
Simply I wasn't born to be a man to like you
But if I had a chance to try to make a life with you
I could take it

Sendr

You were the second official one
But the first one to live everything with me in a year
Three years passed since the first time we saw each other on a elevator
We never knew that we could have a chapter in our life together
But we had one
I taste the feeling of being a mature man while my mind was a child
I enjoyed those moments
You were the my reason to be a better man every day
I wanted to do everything to have your aprooval
To make you mine every day
But in the end, I didn't have everything that I needed to make you happy
And you betrayed me a lot of times with another one, at least, that's all I know
But I loved you so much and you make me growth as a man
Right now, I know that our fate is to be appart from each other

Kapiline

And you...
In this moment you are my last dream
And i wanted to everything to be in your life
But simply I can't
I don't know what's the next step
But sometimes, I believe you're just another one trying to be nice with me
And I'm confused
But, if you really are interested in me
I bet you'll read all this
And figure it out who are you to me

Confessionary

I remember their faces
Telling me the forbidden lifes
they have right now
As I was surprised by the words

Unless you never have heard about their confessions
You surely will see them as normal people
Working hard to live
But deep inside they taste the pleasure of sinning

I'm not the right person
To make judgements about their behavior
Because sometimes i wish to be the one living the sin
But i know how it hurts in the end

I must admit, the confessions are hard to accept
And I try in a useless way to make them feel bad
But sometimes, i wish to be one of them
Confessing my sins to somebody else

You can't come here

Nobody must walk in this way
Because it goes to a darkest and lonely place
Where illusions tend to dissapear
And hopes don't exist

I was born to walk this way
And there's no people behind of me following my steps
Because they know this place is not a pleasant one
But just a few like me can take this path

Don't try to understand the reasons i have
To feel this way because there's no human logic on it
I resisted to walk this way because it seems dark
But when i take another path, the forces always bring me back here

So please, don't ask what am i doing this
And give me your support to finish this work
as if it's written on the book of life
It's just my duty to be this way

You can't come here
Trying to convince me to stop
Because it's my fate that brings me here

You can't come here
Telling me that i must hide this feelings
and act as if i lived a normal life

You can't come hre
Telling me that there's a beautiful world ahead
because i ran a lot to reach the goal

The one who knows everything about me

There's no need to make confessions
Because you're the one who knows everything about me
All the sins I commited
Have been seen by your eyes

There's nothing I can hide
You only expect what's in my next decision?
As the one who knows everything about me
Tell me if i'm going to hell

Don't you think, that I'm careless about your presence
But i know there's nothing I can do
About the way i fight my sad feelings
Because maybe i'm not smart enough

There's nothing I can tell
To justify everything I do
Because you're the one who knows everything about me
I'm just hopeless

If I have to tell you something
It's that i want to find my piece of mind
I want to stop of violating our agreements
To cure my scars

She doesn't know

She doesn't know the way i suffer in silence for her
She doesn't know how much hapiness she brings to me when  we're together
She doesn't know the way i feel about her

I try to pretend but i'm not good at it
She's the one who makes my heart feel atracted to her
But i guess she can't see

I'm afraid that she really don't care about what is happening here
I'm afraid that she's just trying to be nice but not to make great steps with me
I don't want to make mistakes with her

I keep my words safe and hidden from her
Because i want to keep the possibilities that i never had, maybe
But i want to believe in my little piece of hope

For now, i must leave
But if i can create a chance to let her know, i would
But for now, she doesn't know

Random Angriness

When i start to feel empty
I try to fill my soul
with some kind of opposite feelings
and the fire starts to burn everything around

It's like the world stars a fight with me
Challenging me until the end
In every corner, in every spot
The love that i can give is broken

Hate is all i'm felling now
Stop trying to make me react
Leave me behind for a while
While the angriness starts to dissapear

And when i start to stay calm
Someone has to open its mouth
Bringing back my bad memories
Raising up my fighting desires

Don't try to be my savior
Just focus on yourserlf
While i'm returning to serenity
Far away from my own war

Perfect Ilussion

Everything ends on this sunday
When the plane begins to fly away
But now, i'm enjoying of being close to you
Dreaming about situations that never were true

You're the one who makes me feel
like the life could be more wonderful if i try
Your smile fills my soul and
I start to dream about you

All the scars begins to heal when you become my dream
And i start to create a plan
To keep this feeling alive
Because you're the one i...

You're the body of my perfect ilussion
A smile that i want to see every morning
and a talk that i like to have every moment
Just like the air we breathe

But i know this sensation will end in few days
And the sadness will begin in me
Missing them, missing you
Because you're the perfect ilussion, and i know

I would like to say the words that could make the dream come true
but i'm also so afraid to lose the chances
I don't know if i'm a perfect ilussion to you
But i'm pretty sure that you are perfect

Things i couldn't find yet

I thought i could discover the feeling of being away from you
And i know that i miss you so much
But, after a few days, the pain starts to grow again
I couldn't find the cure for my heart

It's so hard to be caught in something like this
Without someone to know what's happening to me
I guess nobody can truly understand the way i feel
about something i couldn't find

And i know what it is
Two years ago i thought i have found it
But in the end it was a fucking ilussion
cheating me and taking everything from me

There's no one around that could understand
My reason of emptiness
I try to pretend that i'm happy
But i just want to cry every second

All my hopes from some strange force putting me in the right situation are down
Maybe i would die without the things i couldn't find yet